Free i ching for lovers1/14/2024 ‘IT IS THE EXPERIENCE OF OUR TOTAL HUMANITY, STRIPPED OF EVERY SHRED OF ALIENATION, STRIPPED OF EVERY PREMISE OF AGGRESSIVE CIVILISATION. When we drop the conditions we shed our armour, we live in harmony, we love everyone and everything just the way it is. ‘I’ll love you as long as you keep acting this way’ Most of the time we have conditions on our love We don’t love with conditions, if someone doesn’t love us back that's fine, we can still love them anyway. We start to love not just people, but plants, trees, rocks, animals, art, the sky, the stars…….the universe. This is a state of love where we start to live in harmony with all things. We’re not looking to possess, be co-dependent or change someone. This is the type of love where we’re not fixated on a single object or person. THE PERSON WHO EXPERIENCES THIS LOVE IS RELATIVELY WITHOUT ARMOUR’ THERE ARE NO ULTERIOR MOTIVES, NO OBJECTS OF MATERIAL VALUE TO BE ACQUIRED. ‘IT IS THE EXPRESSION OF A STATE OF LOVINGNESS. This is also a contradiction of love as it drives a wedge between the essential self and the imagined deficient self. Not because they need that other person, but because they enjoy each other. Then two complete people can come together and share their experiences of life. So once we realise that we should set out to find someone that has also realised that they’re complete. We’re already complete, just the way we are. That imagined person in our head doesn’t exist so we’re just chasing a unicorn and trying to change people. And second, that we need someone to complete us. First, we’ll find someone who fits that ‘perfect’ image we’ve made up in our heads. The one that will make everything ok in our world and make us ‘complete’. This is the search for that ‘perfect’ mate. ‘IT IS GENERALLY AN UNCONSCIOUS ESCAPIST ATTEMPT TO COMPENSATE FOR THE ABSENCE OF SELF-APPRECIATION' This is also a contradiction of love, but on a lesser level than the first, possessive type of love. It’s hard to see when she’s in it, but once she gets the courage to leave then we always hear “what was I thinking? Why did I stay so long?” She fears what will happen if she ever left, so she puts up with it. Then from her side, she stays in the relationship because she’s become addicted to being controlled. Think of the male who needs to control and know everything about his partner - where she is, where she’s going, where she’s been, who she sees, he checks her phone to see who she’s been messaging, he verbally abuses her and all her happiness and enjoyment must revolve around him. These relationships are far too common today. ‘THIS IS ROOTED IN THE EXPERIENCE OF POWERLESSNESS AND EXPRESSES ITSELF AS AN ADDICTION TO CONTROL OR BEING CONTROLLED’ He buys her things and says he loves her, but she’s merely a possession to him. We see this in the example of a Man and his ‘trophy wife’. This type of ‘love’ turns the pure, selfless act into a selfish and manipulative feeding of the ego. It’s the objectifying of people and things, think the Male chauvinist. Be it money, material possessions or a partner. It’s the eternal quest for ‘things’ that we ‘must’ have. In the Tao they say that this is the lowest form of love, so much so it’s not really love at all. ‘THAT IS, LOVING AN OBJECT BECAUSE WE ARE CAPABLE OF POSSESSING IT, OR AT LEAST BELIEVING WE POSSESS IT’ The last 2 are healthy expressions of it. The first 3 are ‘pathological contradictions’ of Love. His wisdom definitely stands the test of time, none more so than the 5 types of love. It’s been over 2,500 years since Lao Tzu was around.
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